I was recently told: “You’ve already been through a lot.”
This remark came out of nowhere. It struck me. Not because it’s true, but because the other person thought it was.
Yes, for the last decade, I have been growing rich in dead relatives. And yes, I have, or know people who have, experienced rape, abortion, drug addiction, incest, serious illness, theft, physical assault, or robbery. But if we consider this list of felony, I can merely cross out a few of them.
Everyone takes a different approach when coping with real life experiences, the aftermath of which not being to enjoy life more or less, but to enjoy it differently. And my attitude may have shifted towards more restraint. But it’s not about being careless: it’s about being less involved.
My voice has probably lost many shades of inflection in the last few years. It’s a subconscious trick to provide physical distance. And people surely don’t imagine how vulnerable I am. But acknowledging some kind of recklessness would initiate a nameless danger.
And in the end, you realize there’s no substitute for the strange corridors in a man.