It is such a usual situation to experience. Coming up with words you wish you’d said, or planning to reveal yourself but not being able to say anything. It’s either regret in the future, or lost confidence in the past. Both share the same endless friction: the present.
Why do we hold ourselves back? What does? Maybe the absence of anything urging us to act. Maybe these aren’t actions that we postpone, but thoughts. It’s easier to cope with the stillness of our mutism than with the possible reactions, or even answers.
A mystery takes its power from the eternity of unsaid feelings. We should learn to irritate this state of comfort in which we indulge.
I never encountered the truth of saying ‘I love you’. But I wonder if I might be able to crush the sick silence that precedes the announcement.